Living in the world of other people’s expectations is living in their world of "the but zone." The governments, the banks, your employment, your friends, family and loved ones are all major "but zones."If you are forever validating your existence, apologising for making mistakes or not being good enough or trying to vindicate yourself, you are a victim of someone's "But Zone." Buddha: "Do not allow the opinions of other to define you, They can only judge you from their level of existence" I love the word “inevitable” it basically means that it’s already been pre-destined. The outcome is inevitable, it is simply a matter of walking the path. For example you are doing a crossword. It has already been completed, you simply have to fill in the squares. It doesn’t matter if you look up the results in the back of the book or not, the end result is the crossword will be completed. This is inevitability or as some say a “no brainer.” Unfortunately in today’s society that’s where the problem lies. The disbelief that the you already have the most amazing life awaiting you, all you have to do is walk the path. There’s a dreaded fear of losing control if you cannot question what is happening. What if it’s not what you want? What if you want something better, different? It is as if you have been given the most amazing platter of existence with absolutely everything you could ever imagine or dream of on it and more and it is presented to you and you say “but, there’s still skin on the chicken.” This is the dimension of the “but.” What happens then is the person presenting the magnificent tray will apologise, make excuses, justify, lie to compensate for their inability to make your “but zone” happy. What is not realised is; if the “but”person is making their stand,and complaining complaining they are extremely happy, for it is within this dimension of misery that they have their power, their control and they are exceedingly happy. It doesn’t matter what you do, you will never make this person happy. You are not supposed to; they are; and they have achieved that: they have it under control. It is through the same act of control that you become their victim, only you are the recipient. You are experiencing the yin/yang of the intent of control. The intent controls and defines both of you. Equality is removing yourself from the situation and your victim mode of control. It is in the acceptance of their misery that you are allowed to be free. In the sate of mind of allowing; if you do not get a negative response from your "but zone people" then you have failed, however with “but people" you will always get their indifference; you will always succeed. This is fine on a gentle layer but sometimes this dimension can act out in total arrogance and hatred. With relationship breakups it is usually caused due to the “but” dimension of segregation. “But” people will use the power of this dimension to try to deliberately hurt and maim relationships to maintain control over their world. This is part of the narcissistic persona and they will try to forge others into their world through gossip of “but they” as a means of controlling others relationships with their foe. There is a quote that substantiates this action and I use it a lot to understand actions of these narcissistic personalities. “If a narcissist cannot control you, they will control how other perceive you” You cannot control their world, you cannot aid their world, for they are only a memorized reflections from your past actions; however you can control your actions now. You have the choice as to where you wish to participate; in their quagmire of emotional judgements and victimisation or you can see it for what it really is and allow it. This is their “HAPPY SPACE” This used to be your happy space. Do you want this manipulation to continue to you? For regardless of how the situation appears, the only one being manipulated and victimised here and now is you.
In my blog of Growing Young I tell of how I was lucky to have someone love me enough to point out what was occurring to me. I was such a thoughtful, compassionate, obliging person, I fell victim to all “but people’s” obscenities because I didn’t want hurt them, they needed me, they needed my help. However, what I didn't know or see at the time was; your surrounding environment is simply feedback from past life memories. They no longer required my help. I'm was the one who required my help. I found myself continuously being enslaved to their needs, compromising, apologising, because I wasn't up to their standards of me, or worse, I was, and they took advantage and extorted my compassion out of obligation . By assisting them outside of me I felt empowered; I thought I was doing the right thing by them, but I was rendering them powerless.The truth was because I was creating ongoing powerlessness for them I was recreating it for me to re-experience...again. My darling saviour said, “you just say NO.”
Once you start saying no, you are starting to allow the "but people" to have their space their way and you, more than anything else, you are saying NO to being anyone's victim again. You allowing you to live your life your way without explanation or apology. This new sense of freedom then paves the way to a revolutionary exhilaration that expands into every component of your life. No words can explain the WOW factor you will now experienced. EQUALITY BEGINS WITHIN YOU YOU WILL NEVER HAVE EQUALITY OUTSIDE OF YOU, UNTIL IT IS WITHIN YOU FIRST.
Buddha states "You mirror your world: Your world echoes you." You echo your emotional intent and the world responds. Once you allow other to exist the way they wish to exist, without your criticism or judgement you create equality within you. You now attract more equality to you. You attract more self love and self empowerment, you alter your future path. You make your choices your way and understand that even though you choose not to participate in others quagmire of chaos you are aware it continues; however, not with you. Your perception of what is taking place and their interpretation of your obligation to them are two different things now. They are extremely happy in their dictatorial narcissistic/victimizating existence. This is their heaven; their ongoing existences and who are you to question it? They are informing you of what it looks like; how it hurts people and how it ends. Exercise over, you no longer need to repeat it .
This is how you now need to see your perfect existence. Placed in front of you is a huge platter of happiness beyond your imagination. Bliss to expand your love life, your relationships, your career, your wealth and it is your destined path. It is INEVITABLE. It is going to occur whether you like it or not. It’s yours for the taking.The only thing that kept your magnificent life from you, was your perception of how you existed in your world. Now you understand how you as mortal are your now and everything surrounding you is your constant past life memories, performed at the same time, at the same place and with the same words and you do not have to repeat it again.
You have a choice to allow an unknown amazing life to come to you now immediately or you can "butt it," argue with it, fight against it, or postpone it. Why would you do that? If all you have to do is wait, smile, allow and know it’s all yours anyway and it will occur because it is inevitable; why fight it? The crossword puzzle is already completed and you haven’t picked up your pen. “Buts” are allowed; however, so are “NO BUTS.”